Soul Mates, or Just Good Soul Friends?

Is it worth holding out for ‘the one’, or should we broaden our understanding of the nature of souls?

by Deborah Bromley

It’s a popular belief that there’s only one person in the whole of humanity that can be a soul mate. You want to meet them and experience true love. If you are waiting for ‘the one’ who will somehow ‘complete’ you, your romantic relationships can suffer. You hanker after someone who is better, more empathetic, more on your wavelength and may feel discontented with your current life situation.

In my work facilitating past life and life-between-life (LBL) regressions, the question, ‘Have I met my soul mate, yet?’ comes up regularly. I advise that it’s important to encourage an open mind when you delve into deep soul memories. What you discover may conflict with the belief that soul mates join us on earth to be best buddies or life partners. Because what we’ve discovered from many thousands of LBL regressions, is that soul relationships are far more complex than we can easily comprehend while we are living in human form.

Life-Between-Lives Regression

For readers who aren’t familiar with life-between-lives (LBL) regression, it’s a natural extension of past life work. It involves progressing the past life journey in trance after the moment of passing, towards a personal experience of life in the spiritual realms. Pioneered by the late Dr. Michael Newton and documented in his best-selling books, Journey of Souls and Destiny of Souls, LBL can uncover deep memories of our lives as souls when we are free from our physical forms. Dr. Newton regressed over 7,000 people during his career and was meticulous in his research, cross-referencing differences and similarities to build a practical model of the spiritual realms. The Newton Institute continues this fascinating work and publishes its findings in a quarterly e-journal, Stories of the Afterlife. A recent book, Wisdom of Souls (Llewellyn, 2019) collates further case stories of individual regressions, ensuring contemporary LBL experiences are documented and published. This  ongoing research provides modern readers with compelling validation of Dr. Newton’s original findings. 

When someone experiences a life-between-life regression, the meeting with their closest spirit friends from their soul group is always an emotional reconnection. These souls will likely have been together from the beginning, from the time each soul was ‘sparked from the Source’. Special friendships evolve as groups of souls tend to incarnate with each other regularly, taking on a variety of roles over many lifetimes. Certain souls may develop a talent for playing a particular role in another soul’s life, they ‘know which buttons to press’. Each soul develops as they integrate all the memories of their incarnations into their spiritual identity. Earth life can be very challenging so with soul friends by your side, there’s a spiritual safety net if things go belly-up at any point. Souls make detailed plans, deciding in advance who will play the various roles to facilitate the maximum learning which is the key to a successful life journey on earth.

Recurring soul companions

But what of those very special souls, your closest soul companions with whom you’ve experienced many physical lives? They may have been husbands or wives or romantic partners in past incarnations. You’d expect to love and marry your soul mate and live happily ever after. Life would be so easy and enjoyable. But when souls choose to incarnate into physical form, ‘easy and enjoyable’ are not necessarily at the top of the agenda. Challenge and learning are more likely to be a soul’s primary motivation. It follows that your soul friends may be called upon to play difficult roles, involving any of the myriad of negative emotions we can experience here on earth. That is why we come here. This planet is a learning opportunity like no other. 

So while the majority of souls recall many past lives with their soul friends by their side, it is also true that your closest soul friends are the people with the capability to challenge you, to cause hurt and distress, to push you in directions you may not want to travel in. What is more, you trust them to do this with all your heart. You know they love you so much, they will do whatever it takes to help you to maximise your learning in your current life. Only a special soul who knows you as well as you know yourself has the skills and courage to mete out the really difficult lessons.

So back to the original question, ‘Have I met my soul mate, yet?’ The answer is always a resounding ‘Yes!‘ You’ve already known and loved all your soul friends since the very beginning and you’ll continue to be with them forever. In your current physical life they may be disguised as people you can’t stand or who’ve broken your heart or betrayed you. That’s why it’s important to keep an open mind. A soul mate won’t necessarily be playing the role of a perfect life partner who will love you and cherish you. But they will be there to support you in some way. And if you are in a loving relationship with a soul from outside your group,  then that can be a fantastic opportunity for growth. Perhaps you may not feel that electric spark of recognition that you’d get with a soul in your group, but learning how to grow loving partnerships with a variety of souls affords great potential for exploring the many dimensions of human love. 

Soul mates or just good soul friends… it doesn’t matter. Whatever relationships you’ve chosen to experience in your current life, your soul’s earnest desire is to make the most of them. And if you’re still anxiously seeking your soul mate, don’t worry. There’s every chance they are in your life right now, hiding in plain sight, perhaps disguised as an irritating boss or a feckless friend or a difficult in-law. Keeping an open mind allows for soul relationships to unfold as we planned them to. And every experience will provide wonderful stories to share when your soul group reconnects again in the spirit world.  

Find out more

Deborah Bromley is a UK-based clinical hypnotherapist  who trained with Dr. Michael Newton in 2004 to facilitate life-between-life regressions (LBL).  Deborah is also a  Hemi-Sync® recording artist, releasing therapeutic guided meditations for home use incorporating the trademark Hemi-Sync® audio technology which promotes deep states of relaxation. Calm and Peaceful, a meditation for anxiety and stress is out now, available from:

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